update on life rn

sooooo things haven't been goin to well lately, well actually really sucks i dont really know what to do m sorry ive not posted anythin in the past week or so i went to NY city and that was ok i guess i hatted everyone there and i was really dysphoric and i had no one to talk to *mumbles* i also kept gettin in trouble for talkin to strangers. I did get character inspiration from a guy i met from Boston so thats nice i guess. But umm the Friday i left my papa had a stroke then a week later he died turns out he had lung cancer so, he wouldnt of wanted to live the rest of his life in a bed anyway. Idk where im gettin an over run with dysphoria out of the blu but its terrible i didnt think i could c anyone this weekend but my cousins r here for the first time in forever, i love them, so im stayin the night with them there r 2 boys and 1 girl ony reason im able to stay if it was just Roma id be sad the whole time cuz acording to my parents boys cant stay the night with girls... but they wont let me spend the night with boys so i just dont really wanna stay the night with anyone anymore... id be to jealous with boys anyway. Over all i guess im fine like i could be worse i just cant wait till i get my therapist so i can come out of this damn closet already its crammed dark and lonely here too bad its not Narnia hehe. well imma get goin im so tired idk if i can sleep tho bye 4 now guys even tho i dont think anyones reading this /